furrycat

I have a handicap. A handicap that's been bothering me since forever. Often the reason that lots of people around me think I am bitchy or mean or a motherfucking dramaqueen. I suffer from bad face-memory. "Lol well that's a big deal", is probably what lots of you are thinking right now. Because for real man, there are worse conditions than a little cognitive retardation. There sure are. But it doesnt take away the fact that every time I go out I meet people, friends and old crushes who think I am the weirdest fucking human being alive. It doesnt take away the awkward moment in the airport, when I sit next to a guy I used to date three months ago and I have no idea why the dude is talking to me. It doesnt help me when I am supposed to meet up with someone I really like and when he shows up I mistake his best friend for being him. There is nothing funny in it. There is no room for jokes and regretful laughter. These people either think you're bored as fuck and do not have any interest in them whatsoever, or they think you're actually a rude hell of a bi-atch. So what do I do? Call the guy next to me from a private number so I can see if his phone rings? SMS the FBI on "recognize faces"? Because I am telling you, being honest doesnt help in this situation. You hear people pretending to have a bad face memory all the time. You see these douchebags who are talking all like "lol it was so riddiculous, I have no idea what her name was or what she looked like... Umm who are you chick? Am I supposed to get this? Sorry babe, sucky facememory". No, being honest definitely doesnt work. My incapability of remembering faces doesnt mean I dont remember you. It doesnt even mean I dont remember your looks. You could be extremely goodlooking and I could be fucking crazy about you, but if we've met only once or twice or it's been a long while since our last meeting, there is a big risk I will not recognize you unless you wear that exact same smile you have on your profilepicture. So dear friends, lovers and co-workers who might read this, next time you see me at the foodshop, hospital or club, come up and talk to me. And if I seem confused, just fucking slap me in the face and remind me. Because you might just as well be the goddamn love of my life.