1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. "Psykologiska observationer har påvisat intressanta skillnader mellan japanska och västerländska mödrars sätt att kommunicera med sina barn." 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch? my black cowboy-hat 3. Before you started this survey, what were you doing? workstuff. i tend to find myself blogging when I'm supposed to work/study/do-something-productive 4. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Big Bang Theory  5. Without looking, guess what time it is: 20:30? 6. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 20:21 7. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? cars driving by on the street 8. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? I had some chinese food with Felicia a couple of hours ago 9. Did you dream last night? I did, something creepy I thought of the whole morning. Can't recall it anymore though 10. Do you remember your dreams? Not really 11. When did you last laugh? At work. My babies always know how to make me laugh 12. Do you remember why / at what? I had my laptop with me so we could listen to christmas songs in the classroom and somehow we ended up taking crazy-ugly webcam-pictures of ourselves with K, E and C.  13. What is on the walls of the room you are in? Pretty much nothing at all 14. Seen anything weird lately? Some weirdo-kid from the sixth grade came to school dressed to a cow 15. What do you think of this quiz? Only doing is because I'm bored to death with workstuff 16. What is the last film you saw? 500 days of summer, second time. 17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? I love my living situation atm, but I guess London or Paris 18. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? Probably nothing special. I once did have lots of money but I spent it on absolutely nothing. Like taxi's to work or expensive cocktails. Now a days i'm nearly broke 19. Tell me something about you that most people don't know. I suffer from nosocomephobia (fear of hospitals) 20. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? regardless of anything? i would take away all diseases, both physical and mental 21. Do you like to dance yaaaa. 22. Would you ever consider living abroad? Sure. 23. Does your name make any interesting anagrams? Oh yes, Titus' favorite "Lura Sand". I actually just got that from Atte on facebook too...  24. Who made the last incoming call on your phone? Martha. 25. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? We downloaded all the episodes of Big Bang Theory with Markus. 26. Last time you swam in a pool? probably hasn't happened since summer 2010. questions like this one makes me kind of depressed. 27. Type of music you like most? 60's pop/punk/indie 28. Type of music you dislike most? techno or dubstep. i'm actually not sure of the difference. 29. Are you listening to music right now? nope. trying to focuse (and succeeding as you see...) 30. What color is your bedroom carpet? i dont have a carpet yet, i want a white one though. a furry one. 31. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do? i would make it stay superclean all the time, without me having to do anything. so i would probably hire a made... 32. What was the last thing you bought? cranberry juice.  33. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike? i've been on when other people have driven but i haven't done it myself. 34. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? probably neither. I'm a scared person. 35. Do you have a garden? not my own, no. 36. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? at least i know the first verse. are there many verses? 37. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Going back to sleep and pretending to be sick. Never happens though, lol. 38. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be? Probably Ville Valo, i've always had a crush on him. 39. Who sent the last text message you received? Markus. 40. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Helsinki10 or Zara. 41. What time is bed time? 11-12, if I'm lucky. 42. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? i might have, you'll never know. 43. How many tattoos do you have? none. 44. If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one? yup. 45. What did you do for your last birthday? i did nothing, hung out with my ex-boyfriend. 46. Do you carry a donor card? no. 47. Who was the last person you ate dinner with? Felicia. 48. Is the glass half empty or half full? half-full. i've suddenly been so much better in positive thinking and i love it. 49. What's the farthest-away place you've been? lol, italy?50. When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato? a couple of weeks ago when i spent father's day at my friend Titus' house. 51. Have you ever won a trophy? ummmm yes? no? whatever. 52. Are you a good cook? not really but i'm pretty good at throwing pepper and cream into anything i'm gonna eat. 53. Do you know how to pump your own gas? no. 54. If you could meet any person (from history or currently alive), who would it be? i would like to meet my grandmother, never saw her. 55. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school? no. 56. Do you touch-type? yes. 57. What's under your bed? the lost half of my wardrobe 58. Do you believe in love at first sight? absolutely not. love is one of the deepest of human emotions, nothing you feel just like that, over a second. 59. Think fast, what do you like right now? my job 60. Where were you on Valentine's day? At a single's dinner. I wasn't single, however, so I ended up watching Trainspotting with my bf. 61. What time do you get up? . Around 10 62. What was the name of your first pet? i've only had a dog who's still alive. he's name is Simba after The lion king movie. 63. Who is the second to last person to call you? my boss. 64. Is there anything going on this weekend? i have two birthdays to attend to.  65. How are you feeling right now? pretty tired and a little stressed out 66. What do you think about the most? lately i haven't really been thinking that much. i'm trying to live each day to its fullest. 67. What time do you get up in the morning? hmmm i'm pretty sure i've already answered this question. 68. If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people? not long, i would probably write it on my facebook lol. 69. Who would you tell first? Probably Nelly or my mom. 70. What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema? Kjell Westö's newest one. Där vi en gång gått. 71. Do you sing in the shower? i sing all morning, from the moment i get up haha. 72. Do you have any favorite music groups? not exactly but i like The Pierces and The Pipettes. Also Kent used to be my favorite for a long time. 73. What do you do most when you are bored? Call someone or update my facebook status lol. I'm thinking about starting to use twitter, just so I can update more often without people commenting on how lame my updates are. 74. What do you do for a living? i work with schoolkids and autistic children. 75. Do you love your job? god yes. 76.What did you want to be when you grew up? i've always wanted to be a shrink. some time ago i thought of journalism too but i figured i'm way too ignorant when it comes to politics, gossip and celebrities. 77. If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be? therapist for kids, or a freakin' rich poet. 78. Which came first the chicken or the egg? so u know i honestly don't give a fuck. 79. How many keys on your key ring? three. 80. Where would you retire to? somewhere warm and surreal, like Hawaii 81. What kind of car do you drive? don't even have a driver's license.. 82. What are your best physical features? my eyes, and probably my ass haha. 83. What are your best characteristics? i'm a pretty good listener and i seldom judge people. i can handle almost anything when it comes to insecurities and fears.  84. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? right now, malaysia or thailand or carebbean. somewhere warm. 85. What kind of books do you like to read? psychological thrillers. or novels with a pretty way of writing. 86. What is your favorite time of the day? definitely nighttime 87. Where did you grow up? in westend, esbo. 88. How far away from your birthplace do you live now? pretty close 89. What are you reading now? i'm trying to read "Leklust - Eller flickan utan egenskaper" 'cause i fell in love with the title. 90. Are you a morning person or a night owl? night owl 91. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? nope 92. Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows? yes? 93. Do you have pets? i have a dog but he lives with my mom&dad. 94. How many rings before you answer the phone? depends on the caller haha. 95. What is your best childhood memory? the christmases. one day a year when everything was perfect. 96. What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life? helper at model agancy, taking care of horses, babysitting etc97. Any things that you would like to share? shit lots of stuff. but i choose to shut up. 98. What is most important in life? happiness, love and appriciating the moment. 99. What Inspires You? emostuff. like dark colours, needles, blood and cigarrettes. i love the beauty of ugliness.


Sitter hemma och reflekterar över min livssituation.

Lista över saker jag måste börja med:

- Gå på gym
- Ta emot turer på juniorhemmet
- Städa
- Höra av mej till familjemedlemmar
- Läsa psykologi

Lista över saker jag måste sluta med:

- Äta frukost på TinTin
- Köpa kläder när jag är tipsy
- Beställa hem städerskor eftersom jag är för lat för att städa själv
- Chocolate chip cookies
- Handla utan att tänka efter

More like the meet you, take you home and FU twice guy

Yesterday i made one of my last shots for Clayhill production's upcoming movie. I heard rumours the relese show might be in a bar. Stay tuned! Now some wine and dancing at TF.


I'm sick of nerdy people with no style, opinions or personality. I'm sick of nerdy people with freaking lame opinions, style and personality. Come on boys&girlz, be interesting, adorable, lovable!!!


children have no sense of reality

Klockan är tre minuter över åtta och jag sitter med hjärtat blodigt i min hand. Jag scannar artärer, vener och aorta, söker efter binokulära ledtrådar. Utkanten känns skrovlig och fuktig och luktar bränt. Någon ringer på dörren till vänster kammare och jag tappar räkningen för sextonde gången. Ambivalent låter jag fingerspetsarna smaka på det blodiga, kammar håret, duttar på läppstift men jag är för trött för besökare och jag har inte städat på många veckor. Ibland undrar jag om ni hade älskat mig mera om jag inte varit jag - det är förstås en skrattretande fråga i sig själv (om icke-adaptiva tankemodeller i högsta grad) men jag har alltid fascinerats av paradoxer, ibland tror jag att hela världen i grund och botten saknar sammanhang.

you selfdestructive little girl, shape the hell up and don't blame the world

Till mamma, R, alla er som aldrig vågat tro

jag har inte stängt mitt hjärta

..jag har bara inte haft så mycket att säga på sista tiden. jag bloggar mest då när det gör som ondast och minst när livet ger mej sockervadd, vilket de flesta antagligen märkt vid det här laget. jag kommer nog aldrig att sluta skriva, jag är alldeles för befrielsecentrerad.


okej det här inlägget känns väldigt pointless och väldigt whiny men jag är helt enkelt tvungen att förundra mej över fenomenet dataspel/män. VAD ÄR PROBLEMET MED DATASPEL OCH MÄN? vill någon förklara för mej? för det första har jag inte den blekblåaste aning om skillnaden mellan dataspel, tvspel, nintendo eller fucking playstation????? jag kunde alltid komma över min idioti genom att fråga någon, men vet ni vad? jag gör inte det för jag skulle ändå inte höra svaret. jag menar, KOM IGEN. jag vill heller inte riskera att nörden i fråga förivrar sig och next thing i know sitter jag och lyssnar på historien bakom world of warcraft. eller hur man dödar en angrybird. hahaha. hur som helst, dagen jag träffar en kille som aldrig rört ett jävla dataspel skall jag typ... kyssa hans fötter. och som sagt, det här inlägget hade inte som syfte att dissa eller såra någon (om inte cod har känslor dvs.). jag tycker bara att hela fenomenet är något... fascinerande.

bildbevis på att jag ler

skall iväg och fira fina martha! senare blir det skojrejs och casa. xox lovers

om sanningen ska fram

jag vet inte om det är verkliga förnimmelser eller optiska illusioner som gör att jag ler lite mera för varje dag som går. igår steg jag upp från sängen utan att sätta väckarklockan på snooze, kasta en sko i taket eller SMSa till nelly och klaga över hur mycket livet suger. idag ringde jag till mamma. lyssnar du R? kanske jag inte är immun, trots allt.


sometimes i wish the time would stand still for a second. just for one second, for me to question reality with absolutely nothing in the universe moving.

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